JESUS

It's WAY to early. Anyway, I'm gone to LA, posts could be few and far between. We'll see.

This is brilliant.

GOOD MORNING LA

I can't wait for pointless morning chatter.

MORE HTM-HELP

GrovesA16: i've got to figure out how to ftp shit on my own tonight
     as well.
Stick Bus: that's easy...oh but wait...coloring font was supposed to
     be easy...
GrovesA16: b a s t a r d.

LOST AND BLOG

There are a few blogs which belong to my friends that have fallen into the void of dead blogs. While the blogs themselves aren't dead, I fear that the authors may be. Or as I have explained before, wrapped in a conspiracy of zombies, holograms, and actresses playing wives.

Sarah Finifrock/Ford
Last transmission - Friday, June 01, 2001

Sarah was involved in our conspiracy earlier where I made the claims that "Sarah" was only an actress who was hired by Kyle in order to create the image that he was married and advance himself in his career field (see the sitcom failure, "Ned & Stacey" for reference). There has been little contact with "Sarah" and the lack of blogging remains a mystery. Her second to last blog is paraphrased below:

     Monday, April 16, 2001

     all right, fine. all of you can turn your back on blogs now that
     they've become mainstream, just like all the r.e.m. fans who
     decided they weren't so cool anymore after "losing my
     religion" hit #1--- but i'm RIDING IT OUT. i'm sticking with the
     blogger b/c there's no easier way to update my site and keep
     it fresh.

Jeff Eichhorn
Last transmission - Monday, May 14, 2001

As everyone is aware, Jeff is dead. He is a corpse which must be constantly reanimated when his services are needed. Obviously he hasn't blogged because there is no internet in the afterlife. In the second to last blog, Jeff commented on his "massive nuts." He later posted the following which would lead me to think Bruen may have killed him.

     Two things tonight.

     1) I'd first like to say that the Go Go's are quite possibly the
     greatest thing since the Romans. The really amazing thing
     is that Bruen likes the Go Go's. I mean, I thought for sure
     that he would HATE them, but in fact he is quite fond of the
     rockin' ladies. I'm so proud of him for admitting it, and if he
     wants to go with me to the record store tomorrow to buy
     their new album I will most certainly oblige. We'll talk about
     the FREE concert the Go Go's are playing at the Taste of
     Chicago later.

     2) Fox Mulder is paramount. Intensity whatever....

Connie Sommerville
Last transmission - Wednesday, May 09, 2001

Connie was last reported to be only a holographic image in which I have created to give the effect that I still have a girlfriend. I cannot write anymore information because there is a currently a court case involving this situation. Connie's last statement was the following:

     So tonight I say, "Fare thee well" DeKalb. I shall not return until a
     hot and steamy August day. I say adios to my neighbors and to
     810 Kimberly.My new luxury suite awaits me. I complained and
     I bitched but deep down I hope all my friends knew that I really
     did like it here. This was my first taste of freedom and it tasted
     good. I can always appreciate DeKalb for that freedom it gave to
     me that no other place has been able to do so far. My room is all
     packed, the floor is bare, and the walls are too white and its sad.
     We had good times in this place no matter what we say. And this
     place will forever be, my first apartment...the first place my wings
     were able to spread. But I say this as I know that I am coming
     back and that this is only the beginning. It has nothing to do with
     my age, or where I am in life, I think that we all need that place
     where we are what is truly inside us. We are not only the memories
     that people have of us and refuse to let go of us. So this is for
     everyone...near or far, no matter where you are in life. I say this
     to all of you, "A person is made of integrity not of delusions and
     memories. Be true to yourself so that you are true to others." I
     love you all.

Perhaps one day, the riddles to why these fine young blog authors have disappeared will be solved and we will once again return to a world with blogs about Porn Czars, ghetto talk from the cornfields, and one's massive genitals.

CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS

In Los Angeles you get a chance to see stars like Linda Hamilton going to see The Lion King, or Tim Burton eating lunch outside your office.

But you would never expect to see Lark Voorhies eating at a Subway in Lake Bluff, Illinois.

We did.

RING OF FIRE

Love Is A Burning Thing
And It Makes A Fiery Ring
Bound By Wild Desire
I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire

I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher

SMILE

Last night I forgot to announce my webcam is semi-operational. It's hidden in the "photo i.d." picture I have to the right, if you click on it, you'll be greeted with a popup window with the view from my cam.

The cam is off right now so the image you'll see is from last night. Hopefully DSL will be implemented in my house within the next month and I'll be able to make her flow a little better.

Maybe it will be on tonight...

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

So I was looking for a javascript to use for my countdown to LA clock and came across this.

I was so confused by this creation that I have since terminated my search and focused on the slow ticking of time.

SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE

There's something I haven't done in over two weeks here at the Diner...



EEE-CHE-ROW!

I feel much better, thank you. And on a related topic...I got my shirt.

MONKEY

Just get the world off your shoulders
and close your pretty blue eyes
Hey monkey, what's life without an occasional surprise?

Got nowhere but home to go
Got Ben Folds on my radio right now
I'm in trouble for the things I need
Hey monkey don't you want to be needed too?

FOOD TRIVIA

Cakes and pies! Cakes and pies!

...yeah, I'm bored...

WHAT IS THIS TOWN COMING TO?

I broke down last night and turned on the new Fox series, Small Town X.

Before I go any further, I want to declare myself an enemy of the "reality television" craze. I have never watched anymore than a commercial for Survivor, I hated my father for watching Big Brother, and the only good Real World was the first Real World (yet I'll admit watching the new one because Connie loves that crap). And I think all I need to say is, Jeff what? I HATE reality television and I think it's a sad statement that people are finding adventure through their television and through other people's lives. The front door is right there...go find your own life.

Anyway, a little birdie has been whispering in my ears for weeks about Small Town X so I figured I'd watch it. It's always fun to watch Kyle build a site and the next day go..."Yeah, so the site is better than the show and the show won't go another season," (cough).

But sadly...that didn't happen this time. I watched Small Town X and the concept was totally awesome. There was a suspense in the show that just kept you totally interested and you start thinking about who the "killer" is. And probably the BEST part about Small Town X is the way the players are removed from the show. They aren't voted off in lame "tribal meetings" or kicked out of a stupid looking house...they get "killed." At the end of the show they send two people to investigate an area and one of the players is stalked and "killed" and they show it from the killer's point of view. If you want to see grown adults piss themselves on national TV...this is the show. The storyline of the show isn't deep enough yet to be called good or bad, but the editing is pretty sweet. Throughout the show they bounce between the views of the players, to quick flashes of the "killer" watching them. And the one thing I like the most about it, is that the "killer" can strike at any time, so when the players are left alone somewhere, that could be the end.

So there it is, I, Dave Sliozis, have fallen into reality television hell. But not far enough that I can't get out. But I do actually recommend Small Town X. At least for right now because Fox is synonymous with shows that crash and burn...then burn again.

...and then burn again...

RECOVERING THE SATELLITES

Gonna get back to basics
Guess I'll start it up again
I'm fallin' from the ceiling
You're falling from the sky now and then

Maybe you were shot down in pieces
Maybe I slipped in between
But we were gonna be the wildest people they ever hoped to see
Just you and me

FRIENDS

The thing that I like the most about friends is that they're always there when you need them...

...or they lie about e-mailing you code and then they go home to watch reality television and never be seen again that night...

NO NICE WAY

(cough) Connie (cough)...

AWAY MESSAGES

FOX employees = boring away messages.

GOOD vs. EVIL

I'm not sure why I found the following event humorous really. I was scrolling through Weblogs.com and within reach of each other I found two links.

The first was for DeadYetLiving which is very (VERY) God oriented and the next link was ArchasBR which I think means "I'm like 15 and I think the devil is cool."

I can obviously go into my beliefs about how you should believe in yourself more than you believe in God (example: YOU start your car every morning, HE doesn't) and how the whole "Satan rules" thing is about as cool as wearing the red and backwards Fred Durst baseball hat. But I won't. I just found it amazing that within 5 seconds of web searching I found both ends of an argumentative spectrum.

[...and Dave suddenly realizes that he has posted WAAAY too much about religion today...]

Who's ready for a beer?

NO TIME FOR LOVE DR. JONES

Okay, I know that's not the right movie, but this is still pretty cool I guess.

The page shows that the cherished Ark of the Covenant could have been designed in such a way that it could generate electricity. It's a pretty good concept even though all the facts come from a book that was written 2000 years ago about a man that left no physical proof that he existed and created a religion that is currently maintained by more people who go for the social aspects than to pay homage to the all powerful being that may have created us.

You shallow, yuppie bastards. You're just going to hell anyway. Cowards.

Wow...I don't know where that came from.

HIGH LIFE

There's a night life falling down on me
I just feel like a change
Beneath the sun in the summer,
a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain
But oh, this desert life, this high life
Here at the dying end of the day
I wasn't made for this scene baby
But I was made in this scene
And baby it's just my way
I don't wanna go home alone, I wanna come on home to you

BETTER THAN WHEATIES

This morning I am dining on a breakfast of PEZ from my Homer Simpson PEZ dispenser.

NEO-TOKYO vs. THE DUDE

Out on DVD today. This might be the movie to derail my Lebowski streak.

HTM-HELP

I've been helping Alison format her page and add some personal touches to it. So far it's been the HTML-retarded leading the HTML-retarded.

HEROES (REVISED)

I have mine. If I only had the outfit.

HEROES

I have mine. If I only had the outfit.

HEROES

I have mine. If I only had the outfit.

[INSERT THOUGHT HERE]

Nothing to say today, I just wanted to post for the sake of making it look like this day has been far more eventful. The heat index was 104 degrees. That's nice.

HAVE YOU SEEN ME LATELY

I remember me
and all the little things
that make up a memory
like she said she loved to watch me sleep
like she said,
"it's the breathing
it's the breathing in and out and in and..."

WHERE THE SWINGERS GO

     TRENT
     Hey! What're you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right,
     I'll ask! Ma'am, where do the high school girls hang out in this
     town?

O GIRLFRIEND

In your arms
I was happy as a little boy could be
Taking pills and mellowing out
Now I just want to shout
For your love
'Cause I'm drifting further from you everyday
Driving by your place every night
I used to feel alright

TUMBLING TUMBLEWEEDS

A little bit of wisdom before I disappear for the evening. Of course, it’s wisdom from the only true movie…

     THE STRANGER
     How ya doin' there, Dude?
     DUDE
     Ahh, not so good, man.
     THE STRANGER
     One a those days, huh. Wal, a wiser fella than m'self once said,
     sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar, wal, he eats
     you.
     DUDE
     Uh-huh. That some kind of Eastern thing?
     THE STRANGER
     Far from it.

Stick Bus: the 28th, jeff and i need a ride to the airport.
MikeISP: Time?
Stick Bus: plane leaves at 7
MikeISP: AM?
Stick Bus: yes
MikeISP: fee?
Stick Bus: pie
MikeISP: OK
Stick Bus: thank you.

[EXPLICIT LYRICS]

Now you can pre-order the soundtrack for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. The track listing itself is enough to make me want to score this CD..."Jay's Rap," "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi, and "Stop Stealing Monkeys." How can you say no?

A MURDER OF ONE

Blue morning Blue morning
Wrapped in strands of fist and bone
Curiosity, Kitten, doesn't have to mean you're on your own
Your can look outside your window
He doesn't have to know
We can talk awhile, baby
We can take it nice and slow

DOWN SOUTH

I'm not sure I like the fact that we're on their turf for the series...

SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SLEEP

Well, I was planning on going to bed about an hour ago but I figured I'd listen to some tunes and then the gears started to warm up and the imagination followed.

Anyway, somewhere in the music, the same old dark depression came up and grabbed hold of me. I can tell you right now that Kyle has already stopped reading cause he's heard all of this a thousand times.

So Columbia just turned out to be a battle that I'm still fighting and the fall semester is coming up fast. I'm starting to get frustrated about it too. If I leave Columbia, I'm walking away with 45 collected credits from a six-year fight with school. I'm 23 years-old and just barely a sophomore, that makes me feel great. And please don't give me the, "people much older than you are going to school" bullshit because I'm tired of hearing that one. I want this all to be over so badly it kills me sometimes. It hurts to be last, it hurts to watch people move away, it hurts to know that I shot myself in the leg along time ago and never knew it, my parents never knew it. Connie and I were reading the book my mom kept while I was growing up, and in this book my mom quoted me as saying, "David doesn't think he's going to like first grade because he thinks the work will be too hard." First grade and I was already defeated by school and giving up.

I have roughly two and a half years left in my college education and that's saying that I don't drop too many credits along the way while I bounce myself around all these colleges. I'll be almost 25 and that's not where and when it was supposed to be over. Shit, I wasn't even supposed to go to school. I was just supposed to be that dumb kid that was swallowed up by middle America and lived in his parent's basement. Four years ago I would have laughed at you if you had told me that I was going to go back to school, fix a mess that I made at one college and make the dean's list at another college. "Sliozis" and "Dean's List" don't EVER go together (unless you're talking about my brainiac cousins). But all that has shifted again. I battled through Columbia last semester and the end of the tunnel began to disappear. I began wondering where I was going and if I really wanted to study film. I wish I could say I did, I wish I could say anything right now, but the truth is I just don't know. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do, and honestly, that scares the shit out of me. I know I need that piece of paper. That's for sure. But where and when I'm going to get it are HUGE unknowns. And even before that occurs, there are a ton of things to think about. Why couldn't I have been like Zach Morris or Parker Lewis? I just feel like I'm always running out of time.

Music for some reason has become a major part of my life in the last six-years. I think it grew on me so much from driving to work every day for two years when I wasn't in school. The lyrics mean things and they push past this show I put on and grab me inside. They twist and turn and every song seems to be singing about me. Tonight, I landed my winamp player on "Misunderstood" by Wilco. The entire song has lyrics that just resonate through my life, but there are a few that just give me a little hope, and give me a little hurt. To sum up what I think they mean to me: I should have left along time ago to meet my friends for drinks somewhere out there.

I guess I have to deal with what's here first...

MISUNDERSTOOD

Short on long term goals
There's a party there that we oughtta go to
Do you still love rock and roll?
Do you still love rock and roll?
It's only a quarter to three
Reflecting off your C.D.
You're looking at a picture of me
You're staring at a picture of me

…sigh…I guess I’ll go to sleep now. Don’t really know why, when I wake up, tomorrow is just going to be like every other day…

UNLEASH THE HOUNDS

I got the comments to work finally, feel free to say hello. Now if I could figure out what the hell is wrong with my archives...

GrovesA16: are you so bored that the font is bothering you?
Stick Bus: yes.
Stick Bus: and that there, was the saddest statement of my life.

DIGITAL SLAP

Thank you ESPN.com for completely mocking me with your technology.

Content-Range: bytes 2580-3285/3286 r browser, and thus, your experience at ESPN.com may be less than optimal. We recommend opening 'Preferences' or 'Internet Options' in your browser and enabling Javascript/JScript before proceeding.

If you feel you have reached this page by mistake, please try going directly to our main site or try our lite site which was designed for browsers with minimal standards compliance.

If you feel you have reached this page by mistake, please contact us and let us know what your set-up is.

Jackasses...

HIGH & DRY

Two jumps in a week
I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy?
Flying on your motorcycle,
Watching all the ground beneath you drop
You'd kill yourself for recognition,
Kill yourself to never ever stop
You broke another mirror,
You're turning into something you are not

THERE'S A BEVERAGE HERE MAN!

Contents:
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Kahlua
light cream

Supplies:
highball glass
shaker
strainer

How to mix:
Pour the ingredients into a shaker filled with ice. Shake and strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Apply old comfortable robe, sandals and sunglasses for consumption of beverage.

LEAVE A MESSAGE

I've been looking at the how-to's for the "dotcomments" system and it looks pretty simple. If all goes well it'll be up and running here tonight.

Oh yeah, that and a pic of Vince Vaughn putting the moves on my woman.

BLUE

I just wanted to take this moment to say...THREE games back...

THIS ONE'S GONNA BE...

...ass.

PICTURE PAGES

I stole Jeff's scanner tonight and I just wanted to post a few pics (click to see them MUCH bigger)..

The pic on the left is me showing my support for the northside Cubbies. The pic on the right is my brother Mark...and well, this pic is just scary.

ONCE UPON A TIME

I used to have a life. I used to have FRIENDS, LOVES, MONEY. Now, i just have LEBOWSKI...

SHABBAS, THE SABBATH

QUINTANA
What's this "day of rest" shit, man?! What is this bullshit, man? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus! It's bush league psych-out stuff! Laughable, man! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead! You got a date Wednesday, man!

WALTER
He's cracking.

VINNIE DIDN'T SAY CHEESE

I just got back from lunch with CONNIE and she got the photo back from when she met VINCE VAUGHN at the local bowling alley. It's really a funny pic, I can't explain the look on Vince's face any better than stoned-deer-in-headlights. Hopefully I'll have access to a scanner by week's end and I'll post the pic.

I never really noticed how big his head is either...

PRIMATIVE

Okay, so I had to stoop to using one of the blogger ready-made templates. I'm sorry. Everything will be okay soon I think.

EL SCORCHO

I wish I could get my head out of the sand
Cos I think we'd make a good team
And you would keep my fingernails clean
But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
Cos I can't even look in your eyes without shaking, and I ain't faking
I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon

LOST

Who are WE and what are we doing in SECOND place?

VIVA LA RAZA

ESTO es para mi familia en Mexico.

HOPE FROM THE RISING SUN

I got this in my e-mail this morning:

hey, wussup?
I saw your message on the BBS of
http://www.Ichiro.com !!
I'm Japanese, and so I thought that I might be able to help you (^^;
Well I suck @ English though.

If you still want any help,
Write me back!! (^O^)/~~~

K, bye!

Ruriko Takabayashi.

Well, looks like I'll be dropping Ruriko a line...

P-TO-THE-H-TO-THE-P

Must...learn...PHP...
Must...redo...my site...
Must...watch...Big Lebowski...again...

HOTEL CALIFORNIA



Alli estaba a la entrada
Y las campanas a sonar
Y me di con llamarme mismo
Que es puerta del cielo
Ella enciende una vela
En muestra del camino
Suenan voces en el corredor
Y lo que indican diciend

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place

[INSERT LACK OF SURPRISE]

Umm...YEAH...

CREEDENCE IS LIFE

I bought "The Big Lebowski" one week ago as of Sunday. I've now watched it 5 times in 7 days. I'm my own hero.

YOUNGER COP
And was there anything of value in the car?

DUDE
Huh? Oh. Yeah. Tape deck. Couple of Creedence tapes. And there was a, uh. . . my briefcase.

YOUNGER COP
In the briefcase?

DUDE
Papers. Just papers. You know, my papers. Business papers.

YOUNGER COP
And what do you do, sir?

DUDE
I'm unemployed.

LOOKIN' OUT MY BACK DOOR

Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door, oh boy!
Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch.
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singin',
Doo, doo, doo, Lookin' out my back door.

A BASTARD AND A SONOFABITCH

Okay, KYLE has been downgraded to BASTARD but BRUEN remains a SONOFABITCH.

SONSUHBITCHES

Because I'm crabby and bored at work, my friends have been upgraded from BASTARDS to SONSUHBITCHES.

That is all.

BASTARDS

Dave's friends = bastards.

BASTARD

Digital-KYLE is a digital-bastard.

BASTARD

Cyborg-BRUEN is a cyborg-bastard.

THE CUBBIES ARE ROCKIN'

Here's a webcam that's proped up at the best BALLPARK in baseball. Take a look, this cam is pretty sweet, you can swivel and zoom in to what you want to see. Cubbies play at 2:30 pm today, I'll be watchin'.

THE BENDS

Where do we go from here?
The planet is a gunboat in a sea of fear
And where are you?
They brought in the CIA, the tanks and the whole marines
To blow me away, to blow me sky high

RALPH'S

I bought "THE BIG LEBOWSKI" on Sunday. I'm currently watching it for the third time.

The Dude has his Ralph's Shopper's Club card to one side and is making out a check to Ralph's for sixty-nine cents.

VINNIE AND JONNY

Vince and Jon have a new movie coming out titled, "MADE" and I visited the movie's site. Low and behold, they have a message board. Now recalling the event that took place on Monday, June 25th (I blogged about it on June 26th, se