iTHEFT

People are stealing software from computer retailers with their iPod. There's a brilliance in using an iPod for evil.

REBIRTH

Huh, how did this get on my site?

[warning: do not click the link above unless you have Quicktime video capabilities. And for modem users, be sure you have time to watch the slow download.]

DR. DEATH II - QUOTE OF THE DAY

My biology teacher today was trying to simply explain to us how learning the functions of "organelles" is much better done if the sample can be live as opposed to a dead sample. His compassionate analogy went as follows:

"It's like a funeral. You've got grandma in a box and someone says 'Isn't she lifelike.' NO!"

Quite the poet.

DRIVER RECOGNITION WAVE

Now we all know that we're supposed to courtesy wave when someone lets us have a spot in a parking lot or lets us pull out in traffic. But there's another kind of wave that takes place between owners of the same vehicle type.

Normally I should be giving this wave to other Honda Accord owners. However, because I have such a bitter animosity toward my car, it transcends to other people who would be foolish enough to purchase that car. So now when another Accord owner waves to me, I wave back like this.

MAKES FOR A LONG DAY

Nothing like starting out the day by watching "Big Top Pee Wee."

I HATE BIOLOGY

I guess I should be more specific. I hate the lab part of biology.

First of all my class consists of 30 people. But the kicker here is that 27 of those 30, are girls. Of course this means the three guys are left to fend for themselves. But, one of the guys (who I think may be technically a guy with different "orientation") is friends with some girls, so he doesn’t deal with myself and the other guy. The last remaining guy, besides myself, probably sucks at biology just as much as I do. Now when that one guy shows up, I at least have someone to talk to for and hour and a half. But today, that bastard took the quiz in the morning and left early. So I'm there by myself. I feel like such a piece of meat.

The next reason I hate the lab is a direct result of my inability to just do it. For some reason, I just can't mix test tubes and chemicals and all that crap. I can read the instructions word for word and follow each step PERFECTLY and still somehow screw it up. The rule I've adopted is the "three strikes" rule. If I screw up on one lab practice three times, I quit and move on.

Without fail, my tubes are always different colors than everyone else's, or they fizz more than everyone else's. One day we screwed up so bad, the liquids in the tube were boiling...without a hot plate, the tube was scalding hot. It's really degrading. What’s worse is I can hear all the whispers and I can see it in those girl's eyes, "stupid meat can't mix a test tube." Yeah, that's what they're saying alright.

So in this biology class, we're never getting out of the "microbiology" scale, which sucks. Give me a worm, a cat, a pig, and lemme cut it open. I can do that. I can memorize organs and functions. None of this chemical mixing with organic molecule shit.

Finally I was talking to my teacher on the way out about why things go horribly array with my experiments. After listing off reasons that made me feel like I was two ("Did you use a clean test tube?" "Did you properly read the directions?" "Stupid meat can't mix a test tube?"), he asked me what my "major" was, to which I replied (and I don't know why I say it anymore) "film." His response was even better, "Oh...you're the film guy." He knew I was the "film guy" because on the first day of class we filled out surveys about ourselves. Anyway, he proceeded to tell me how I can benefit from biology in the film world. Needless to say it went in one ear and out the other.

The teacher is classic though. If you recall from my semesters at Columbia, I had an environmental science teacher there who pretty much explained that "humans" were a form of pollution and that we're pretty much killing the Earth and we're all going to die. Happy class. I called that teacher, Dr. Death.

Well now in this biology class, I have Dr. Death II. My biology teacher never goes a day without telling us about something we eat and how it can kill us. He seems to target fat people a lot, talking about McDonald's and how evil they are. Of course he mentions smoking and artificial preservatives. But, the man actually said, "Sure, go out and drink beer. Beer is better for your system than you think." Which really just says to me, "come to class drunk."

And I still want a tattoo.

BLOG CRAVING

I feel like I should blog something but I don't know what. I want to say that I finally saw, "A Beautiful Mind" this weekend and I want to say what I thought about that movie, but I know I'll only doom my comment box below to the same conversations that can be read pretty much on any other site in the Stick Bus family.

I'm also thinking more seriously about getting my tattoo. I still have no ideas for what I want. Right now the leading idea is "THUG-4-LIFE" arched from shoulder to shoulder with the image of a crying virgin Mary underneath it. What do you think?

...SIGH...

I love Canada but at the same time, I'm hating them...

IS SHE SLOW?

Being that I already loathe figure skating (it's really just NASCAR with people and judges) doesn't help me look at Sarah Hughes without my view being tainted.

But have you heard this girl talk? Jesus, it takes her forever to answer a question. Enjoy that medal honey cause you sure as hell aren't getting any commercial endorsements. Unless, Sylvan Learning Center is looking for someone...

USA HOCKEY

Tonight, the ladies go for it all.

CLEAN CUT AND SHAVEN

My my, what a haircut will do.

before | after

Oh, and am I a POSTING MACHINE tonight or WHAT!?

SAUSAGE LINKS

Okay, so all of my links work down there. Happy?

MICHAEL...BOLTON?

Right now, the Michael Bolton rendition of Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" is playing over our office speakers. Once again proving that there is no God.

SMALL UPDATES

I added a few more quotes to my "about" section down at the bottom of my page here. Plus I added links. Go to it.

Oh, and I know the "photos" page doesn't work. So don't get all over me about that.

BLOGCON2002

As Alison mentioned, there will be a convention held in Las Vegas for members of the Blogger community. And as of right now, I'm strongly considering going. I'm sure I could at least get Kyle to go if I tell him he can push a certain company's services there.

Of course I'll also keep checking around the Blogiverse to see who else is planning on attending. I don't want to fly to Vegas to find myself alone or caught up in some adventure where Zack loses his hard earned money, Kelly becomes jealous and Slater gets chased by mobsters.

And yes, I did make an attempt to link every word in this post. Thank you.

HEDGEHOG

My hair is getting really long and it's starting to look like a hedgehog. I really need a haircut (and a shave!) and I took this picture to prove that point, but I failed, the pic really doesn't show that (but it does show my GIANT DIGITAL CAMERA).

I was then going to make a comment about my hair being so long that I could have dreads like Ariel once had, but I failed.

So I could have just said, I need a haircut. Instead I've wasted time writing this. Oh well.

OOH! I GET IT!

So I now understand the rules and scoring of curling. And with a little help from Bill Nye Science Guy, I also understand the physics.

FEATURED CLIENT

At Stick Bus, LLC, they feature a client from the select group of individuals housed on their server. This month happens to feature Jeff Eichhorn:

He’s the architect who would be king, despite the fact that he hasn’t updated since May of 2001. Get your fill of Jeff Eichhorn’s personal website, this week’s featured client.

The fact that the "featured client" is someone who hasn't touched a web page in almost year says something about the quality of customers they host for. Plus I hear there's a dog, and a guy that doesn't even really exist.

JUST MEGA

NO FUN

It's no fun this late at night to be tired, drunk, and without your girlfriend. Jesus, I am drunk again...huh. Autoshow pics tomortorw, some great Chicago photots too.

SEARCHING FOR FRIENDS

I was searching Google (because I have nothing else to do at work right now), so I entered the name Bruen to see what the results would be.

I got this picture...

WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT BIG BUSINESS - PART 2

Today at work, I received a 3,818 page catalog from Grainger. Apparently they supply EVERYTHING. I could order this right now. I don't know what it is, I don't know what it does...but I can order one.

That's power.

WHO'S JOHNNY?

"Who's Johnny?" she said
And smiled in her special way
"Johnny" she said
"You know I love you"
"Who's Johnny?" she said
And tried to look the other way
Her eyes gave her away

BRILLIANT ADVERTISING - PART 2

Speaking of brilliant adversting, the commercials for 10-10-220 are advertising marvels. They used the following simple mathematical formula:

Terry Bradshaw + ALF = BRILLIANT.

BRILLIANT ADVERTISING

In danger of showing myself as a true male...has anyone else seen that new Victoria's Secret ad on television? Jesus, it's BRILLIANT! There are boobs and bras and water and milk on boobs and music, oh my GOD! I just don't think I'm just not doing the commercial justice. Of all the Victoria's Secrets commercials I've seen, this one is RIGHT on target. When I see it, I just want to sign online and buy women's underwear.

So if you find underwear in your mailboxes in the near future...you know who sent it.

CURLING

i don't understand curling, but I love it.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT BIG BUSINESS

If you want something new, intentionally break the stuff you have, say, "I don't really know what happened," and wait for them to say, "We'll just have to buy you a new one."

God bless multi-million dollar companies. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 17-inch monitor to destroy.

BRADMAYNARD.COM

I finally got around to doing an update on The Brad Maynard Experience. It's part one of the "Maynard Fiction." Check it out! Right now!

VALENTINE'S DAY

Clever how I made the font red, eh?

Anyway, I can't believe it's only 9:00am and I'm ready to rip the tradition and ideals of Valentine's Day to shreds.

Now those of you who know me are probably already saying, "Dave, you dumbass, you've been dating Connie for almost two years. You should be happy to have a person to share Valentine's Day with." Well right, I am happy to have someone on Valentine's Day. That's not the reason I hate this awful day though.

Essentially, my total disgust lies in the way that we view this day and act on it. And for the record, I think that Valentine's Day just BARELY edges out Christmas for the number one spot on my "hated-holidays" list.

So why do we "celebrate" Valentine’s Day? The following is an excerpt from HistoryChannel.com:

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today.

And that brings us up to now. A man dies for his love of a woman and what do we do now to pay tribute to that love? We buy flowers that die in a day and crappy balloons. We pass out crappy Valentine's at schools with phrases like, "I CHOO-CHOO CHOOSE YOU" (that's a CLASSIC, I know). I think the only reason that this tops Christmas as a shitty holiday (if it can actually be classified as a holiday, perhaps I should specify as a "gift giving" holiday), a shitty GIFT GIVING holiday, is because our Christmas shopping mentality gives us almost a month to go out and select the perfect gift for someone. However, do you shop a month in advance for Valentine's Day? No. The Valentine's Day market is geared for LESS than ten minutes of shopping (perfect for Kyle). You go in a store, grab something pink and heart shaped, and five bucks later you're back on the road. At least during Christmas some thought goes into the gift.

Now I'm not saying that EVERYONE shops that way. I know a few people who take time to actually celebrate this day and love. But the other 95% of you, PLEASE quit being trash. This is a day where you are supposed to celebrate love, and I don't know how you can do that with a $1.99 rose and a $2.99 teddy bear. Anyone who says, "it's the thought that counts" here, go outside and stand in traffic...now.

As for those of you who are single, you obviously have the "standard" reason for hating Valetine's Day. But really, it's just another day manufactured by the evil Hallmark corporation to prey upon the wallets of those who are in relationships and exploit the most beautiful of human emotions for money. Goddamn Hallmark. In the end, that’s $20 more dollars that you have to spend on beer for St. Patty’s Day.

And really, shouldn't we take time and do things for the people we love all the time? Not some froo-froo nasty pink holiday? My Valentine's philosophy is this, give something that comes from your heart, something that makes you feel good to be giving. A simple card with something wrote is perfect. But I guess if the $2.99 teddy bear comes from your heart, I guess it's okay too.

KYLE WAS RIGHT

In the "Moments of Zen" section of Sarah's site she posted:

"Have you been experiencing an increase in barnyard sex emails lately?" - Kyle Ford, 1/23/02

But it's true. Out of my 12 AOL e-mails today, 4 involved chicks and equestrians.

POSES

Reclined amongst these packs of reasons
For to smokes the days away into the evenings
All these poses of classical torture
Ruined my mind like a snake in the orchard
I did go from wanting to be someone now
I'm drunk and wearing flip-flops on Fifth Avenue

BOYS AND CARS

To me, this is like dating the sister of the prom queen.

TEMP

I've been feeling pretty crappy underneath these last few days. I feel like everything is just part-time. Part-time student, part-time job, part-time boyfriend, part-time friend, part-time, part-time, part-time. Nothing is really a focus and nothing seems constant. I feel like I'm watching someone else's life through a television. I guess I just want a focus, something that feels like a base that I can always come back to in a day when everything else feels so jumbled.

ULTRA VIOLET

Sometimes I feel like I don't know
Sometimes I feel like checking out.
I wanna get it wrong
Can't always be strong
And love, it won't be long.

SHUTTER

More people need digital cameras.

PEOPLE SKILLS

Well the boss I've had for almost two years here at my job is moving on to better things and leaving me behind. Unfortunately, I will be getting a "temporary" new boss until one can be found to replace my old boss. The guy replacing my boss hates me, I'm pretty sure. He scheduled a meeting with me next week, I think it will go as follows (him being the "Bob" character and myself playing "Tom," exerpt from the movie Office Space):

BOB: What, what would ya say, ya do here?

TOM: Well look, I already told you, I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you undersand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

And...scene...

OPEN TO SEARCH

Kyle put things in order yesterday so I can start checking my site stats again (it's an ego thing) and apparently people have been searching for, and finding my site under some strange seach queries...

> "fox studio karaoke"
     I've been to the studio, I don't recall and karaoke there.

> "empire diner"
     duh.

> "girls boarding school sexual experience pics"
     I uhh...well I umm...next entry please...

> "whoppers"
     I don't even like Whoopers.

> "lawnmower dmx meaning"
     How complex can a lawnmower lyric be?

> "rob dobi sucks"
     I never met the guy but I like his site.

> "fire and ice lark voorhies"
     "Fire and Ice" is a movie, also staring Tempest Bledsoe!

> "lark voorhies pics"
     Quit pushing the Voorhies!

> "jamba juice market potential"
     I know nothing of the market, but I *heart* their product.

> "sweet sites to buy sick ass hockey rollerblades"
     Uh huh, good use of "sick ass" as adjectives.

> "steve zahn naked photos"
     No...never.

I can only imagine what will show up next month...

WELL GOOD MORNING TO YOU, BITCH PC

You have to love waking up, turning on your computer and having this be the first thing you see.

DIGGING

"Just remember that someday
could always become tomorrow."

- Connie Sommerville

NASA - HOME OF THE DREAM KILLERS

So my childhood dream of being an astronaut was brutally crushed earlier this week when NASA announced the new "space tourism rules."

"A candidate's past and present conduct must be assessed, according to the criteria, with disqualification considered in the case of delinquency or misconduct in prior employment or military service.

Other disqualifying traits: criminal, dishonest, infamous or notoriously disgraceful conduct; intentional false statement or fraud; habitual use of intoxicating beverages to excess; abuse of narcotics, drugs or other controlled substances; and membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the public's confidence in the space station or its partners."

Why the hell is there ALWAYS a "habitual use of intoxicating beverages to excess" clause when you want to go to space? Well, so much for being an astronaut, I guess it's on to politics.

WHY IS TAPE STICKY?

There is no chemical bonding or reaction between a pressure-sensitive adhesive and the substrate, the surface to which it bonds. A pressure-sensitive adhesive is a sticky, viscous, liquidlike material that adheres to a surface using only pressure. To function well, it should have good adhesion to a surface and good cohesion, or internal strength. For good adhesion, it is important that the adhesive can readily flow out on the surface. The degree, or freeness, of the flow often determines the intensity of adhesion. Degree of flow depends on the difference between the surface energy of the material and the surface energy of the adhesive. Pressure-sensitive adhesives tend to flow out on materials having a high surface energy--for instance, metals, glass and plastics such as acrylic, polycarbonate and nylon. Pressure-sensitive adhesives tend not to flow out as easily on low surface-energy materials such as polyethylene, polypropylene and Teflon.

Mechanisms for adhesion include both mechanical adhesion and specific adhesion. Mechanical adhesion occurs when the adhesive flows into the texture of the substrate. Specific adhesion includes electrostatic forces, van der Waals forces and acid-base interactions that take place between the adhesive and the substrate. In the case of acrylic pressure-sensitive adhesives, the intensity of the bond typically increases over time. This growing degree of 'stickiness' occurs because of the long time it takes for the adhesive to flow onto and into the surface texture, and for the adhesive polymer to align with the surface to create the interactions.

BACK IN THE MIDWEST

Kyle came back for a visit. Here are some pics from last night.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

SONIC SAYS:


"Dude, lets get the HELL outta here!"

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS

Happy birthday superstar.