WHO: Carl Reiner
WHERE: Factor's Famous Deli
CELEB GRADE: A

Mike and I went to Factor's for lunch and saw the brilliant man behind such classics as The Jerk and Summer School at lunch today. Can he be considered Hollywood royalty?

Previous Celeb Sightings: Jessica Simpson, Greg Pitts, Mischa Barton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Luke Perry, The Hilfigers

Heading out to work just now, there's a car perfectly blocking my car in my spot. Mine is the silver one, and as you can see there's no room to get by. Good morning tow truck!

WHO: Jessica Simpson
WHERE: Olympic Blvd.
CELEB GRADE: A-

We all know who she is and what she's done. For whatever reason she was driving east on Olympic in FABULOUS holiday traffic (the ONLY time of the year when LA driving is fun). I gawked about three for four times to make sure it was her.

...and you can't mistake the profile of that nose.

Merry Christmas Jessica.

Previous Celeb Sightings: Greg Pitts, Mischa Barton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Luke Perry, The Hilfigers

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a site design. I'll leave a box of edamame and a six pack of jolly spirits by the front door.

Thank you Santa.

- Little Davey

I got nothin'.

I discovered that my phone takes photos in "emboss," "sketch," and a couple other really stupid features. The above photo is in "negative."

And what's worse is that I know there are people out there who are honestly excited that their phone can do that.

"OMG! I wuz @ da club 2nite and snapped MJ doin' some wacky shiz with my emboss effect!"

I figured since the year is almost over, I'd dig up my 2004 resolutions and see how much personal growth I've made.

1. Get a place to live: This one pretty much has to happen and we have until April. Of course, we're hoping to get it out of the way sooner.
   
   Yeah, that was done along time ago. We moved into our new place in February of 2004. The new place is better than the old place, except of course for a few lingering issues.
   
   
2. Pay off credit cards: This one was on the 2003 list, and since I've moved to Cali, it got a little out of hand. So paying off is probably impossible, however lowering dramatically is more what I'm shooting for.
   
   So this one wasn't really accomplished, but it was delegated. Connie is now in charge of finances so I'm taking it off my list and putting it on hers. So...BOOM!
   
   
3. Exercise: I'm not sure how, what or where yet, but I definitely need to step that part of my life up a notch.
   
   This one will be on the 2005 list. Right now we're playing softball once a week, but that's not really exercise. I'm going to try and get into that whole morning jog thing.
   
   
4. Don't walk away from opportunities: I had a few chances to see some fun things in this town in the last few months but I let my inner-60 year-old man get in the way. Not this year.
   
   Not really sure if I did this one or not. I know there were a few things that I brushed aside that I probably should have reached for. Regardless, I'll leave it on the list. Never know when that marlin is going to swim my way.
   
   
5. Write THREE quality 30 minute scripts: I'm in a great position to get some things done and I need to get past my procrastination. Put up or shut up.
   
   Wow. So in 366 days, I wrote...nothing. Awesome. Not even sure I really care about this one, it's just part of the stigma that goes along with this town. This will be revised and back on the 2005 chapter.
   
   
6. Decide if I want to renew my membership card to Cali: The end of March will mark my one year anniversary as a Los Angelino (sort of, I still don't have a Cali license), and I need to take a step back and think if I'm going to add another year.
   
   We're staying a longer. Even though we still miss our friends from back home, and some friends we made out here just jumped ship, things overall are good here. We've built ourselves a pretty little stable of new friends and it's starting to feel like the second year of college for me.
   
   Plus it's like 65 degrees everyday. Y'all can keep your snow shovels.
   
   
7. Buy a scooter: This is another 2003 leftover. It's just something that's perfect for Cali and I'll always want one.
   
   We bought Connie a car so that pretty much killed the budget for a scooter. Back in '05.
   
   [Please note the mastery of passing the blame here. It was indeed the fact that Connie needed complex transportation that killed that goal, not my huge chuck of debt.]
   
   
8. Complain less: I complain, that's what I do, and I do it a lot. Maybe this year, I should cut back a little.
   
   Wow. This one REALLY didn't happen. If anything, I'd honestly say that I probably doubled the amount of complaining I did last year, if that's even possible. I guess I'll put this on the 2005 list too
   
   
9. Learn to cook more: Right now, I can cook about two or three things really well. And you can only eat two or three things for so long before they get old. Once we get a new place with a bigger kitchen, I'll bust out my cooking chops.
   
   When we moved into our new apartment, we got a MUCH bigger kitchen. This has allowed me to expand my genetic gift for cooking. Even though we really have four or five basic meals, they're all done to perfection.
   
   
10. Get a tattoo: Again, this is something I've wanted but I'll never figure out what I want. I'm sure this will show up every year.
    
    Sweetest tattoo ever.

My 2005 list coming soon.

...and now it's our turn.

Connie was up at 1am this morning, doing the flu dance. Now I sit and wait quietly for it to ravage me.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

While Christmas shopping for the ladies last night, Kyle was faced with purchasing the greatest impulse buy item ever created. The Bow Lingual.

Overall, the thing didn't really seem to do much except tell us that Krycek was "frustrated." We didn't need this gadget to tell us that. And in the end, he just kept trying to chew off the receiver you put on the collar.

The laugh we had in the store however, was worth the $10.

BILL: Dude, you've gotta have a poker face like me...whoa, three aces!

Sliozis family, Galena, Illinois circa 1990.

Most of you are already familiar with what I'll call my "Roadface Chronicles" (part one, part two). Earlier this month, Roadface vanished for about two weeks, her car was still in its spot. So naturally, and probably wrongly, Connie and started thinking that God finally got off his ass and corrected his mistake.

Well, no such luck and Roadface is back to her door-slamming, gate-opening, general bitch behavior (thanks a lot, God).

Also about a month ago, the sign out front of our place advertised that there was a one bedroom available in our complex.

Now, when you see something like that, your mind of course does the following things. First you can only hope that one of the neighbors you loathe is packing their bags and getting the hell out of your life. And second, because this is Los Angeles, you kinda hope that it's going to be a C-level celebrity so that you can steal their mail and laugh them at when they're not looking.

Unfortunately, neither of these scenarios would be true.

A new couple moved in, and being the nosey people we are, we'd snake by and try to peek in the windows to see who they are and what the status of their life seems to be (nice furniture? nice decorations? nice electronics?). All Con and I could really see was a Christmas wreath and a pointsetta...in early November. You know what kind of people get ready for Christmas in early November? White trash.

Shortly after, I noticed that they had an old Illinois license plate strangely displayed in their patio window. So initially I though, "Nice! People I can relate to!" But something didn't feel right it. And I thought to myself, "Do you know what kind of people decorate the outside of their house/apartment with license plates?" White trash.

Later, while doing my laundry run, I heard the girl talking. What clicked in my head was that she said "about" but it sounded like a soft "aboot." I quickly did the following math:

Illinois license plate + "aboot" = Wisconsin

Wisconsin. I HATE Pissconsin (but it now answers my question of who did this). I can't tell you why exactly I think she's from Wisconsin, except for the fact that the hair on my neck stands up and I start growling.

Finally, to top it all off, around 11pm last night, Connie and I heard them fighting and she was crying. You know what kind of people fight at cry at 11pm? White trash.

Ugh. The Housing Gods are a devilish bunch. I can't wait until they put a full size refridgerator on their porch and a pick-up without tires in their parking spot.