I love the 1989 version of Batman just as much as the next person. But today, not having much else to do, I decided to watch it again. Upon doing so, I have to say that several events that take place in the last 20 minutes of this film raise several questions and deserves additional scrutiny.

1. First, if you've seen the movie, you've already asked yourself this question. Batman's Batjet targeting system CLEARLY locks onto the Joker when he's standing on the streets, challenging Batman. But then, when Batman fires, the missiles don't seem to explode anywhere near Joker and the bullets only tear up the street. Why didn't they hit the Joker?


2. Then, at the end of that same scene, the Joker pulls out that huge gun and shoots down the Batjet with one shot. The barrel of the gun was long, which would only improve the accuracy of the gun, not the power. So Joker was still firing some low caliber ammo that we're supposed to believe took down an advanced fighter jet? Both question number one and two lead me to believe that the Batjet was lacking in quality craftsmanship.


3. After the Joker uses his acid flower to knock the giant church bell down and it plummets to the spire floor, it blocks the police's only way up to the top. Fine. But why is Commissioner Gordon, the oldest, least fit man on the police force, the only one who tries to move the giant bell when there are several Gotham cops standing around?


4. When the Joker is ballroom dancing with Vicki Vale, why is she acting like she's drugged or unconscious? I mean, sure, she was just dragged up like a hundred flights of stairs, so maybe she's tired. Fine. But why doesn't she struggle? You're about to die Ms. Vale, you might want to consider fighting back. It's not like the Joker was some huge dude. Instead, she just flops around.


5. And finally, when Batman gets to the roof of the cathedral, there are already a few Joker goons ready to do battle with him. How did they get there? Joker didn't even know Batman had a Batjet, so for them to plant these goons in the spire with the forethought that Batman was going to crash his jet at the cathedral steps and the battle was indeed going to end up there, seems like a huge stretch. There was absolutely no reason for them to be there.

And for the record, this is the kind of stuff I lose sleep over. Thanks.

Kyle brought this article to my attention.

That's one down...

I knew about LABlogs but never realized I was featured one day. I love you too.

This morning, while doing laundry, one of my only good neighbors asked to jump in the chain. I planned on being home most of the day, so I politely said yes and took a break from doing laundry.

I wedged my detergent and my box of dryer sheets down between to the washer and our apartment's hot water heater, where it would be out of the way and I wouldn't have to lug it back and forth when I decided to do laundry again.

Of course, during my break, who else decides she needs to do laundry? That's right, everyone's favorite neighbor.

So I just went back into the laundry room to start up again. And guess what.

SHE STOLE MY DRYER SHEETS. THE 95% FULL BOX. LIKE THEY WERE JUST THERE FOR HER TO TAKE. WHO DOES THAT?

Now I have to knock on her door and try to pretend like, "Oops! These things happen!" GIMME MY SHEETS!

[UPDATE: 5:32PM] So first, I knock on Roadface's door to see if she took them. She cracks open her door and before I can finish my question, she only says, "No, sorry." And looking back at the conversation she seemed really paranoid about something.

So I'm thinking, okay, maybe the nice neighbor grabbed them on accident.

Before I ask her, I go and recheck the laundry room to make sure I'm not nuts. After second inspection, sheets are still missing.

I walk back around and I ask nice neighbor if maybe she took them and she says, "Nope, I have my own. What a strange thing to steal." To which I reply, "This is what we get for living with these weirdos."

And then I remembered that this morning, there was a bag of towels on the dryer. And I'll bet you anything that they belonged to Silver Reign and she's not home to interrogate.

You know, this is a complex with ten units, and I think twelve people. How do you steal dryer sheets from your neighbors and not think you'll either get caught or they'll hate you?

I'm watching you, you bastards...

Headed up to San Francisco this weekend to visit with Rod. Didn't take too many photos, but when we did it was totally worth it. Here's the brief gallery

People here effing suck. I'm about at the end of my rope with all these assholes running around this town and most of them seeming to seek refuge amongst themselves in my complex or the few still standing around us.

The picture above is my parking space. I was lucky enough to find street parking, so I took it. And then I walk down the alley, and BAM, CRAPmas tree. A goddamned, dryed out, heavy ass tree. And not even like hillbilly-tossed to the ground either, no. THE THING STILL HAD A STAND. GRAH! I mean, COME ON. It's CLEARLY a parking space! Someone else is CLEARLY going to need to be there! Mind you, there were the obvious culprits, but I swear she didn't have a tree this year...because Satan doesn't celebrate the birth of your Lord.

Right now, I'm thinking it was the effwads from the condo building directly to the left of this photo. They have been notorious for throwing out crap and having it spew into my space. I should set it on fire and toss it over the wall.

You suck.

iTunes: Just one thing.

1. When you import a CD, I would like to have the option to have iTunes automatically create a playlist for the album on the sidebar.

Tivo: Two items for Tivo.

1. Play All - I want a "play all" feature when you have your Tivo organized by folders. Example, when I'm watching Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, the episodes are only fifteen minutes long and Tivo records like, six. So why not "play all?" Or if I'm cleaning the apartment and just want to burn through 30 episodes of Friends..."play all."
   
   
2. Trash Bin - The trash bin would obviously store shows/movies that you have deleted. The user would be able to set a time frame in which the items could be removed from the Tivo, like immediately, 24-hours, or 48-hours. So Saturday morning rolls around and you're all, "Damn, NUMB3RS was a rerun...OH! But The Office is still in the bin. I'll watch that."

I mean, I'm so effing smart.

Behind that door, a legend is starting a new chapter for the new year. Or, as it will forever be digitally remembered as, "The New Madness."

So, Roadface (click here for a history) has apparently got herself a job. Or at least I think she does. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that every morning, I hear her leaving.

When I leave in the morning, I put my key in the deadbolt, close the door, twist, and I'm off. That easy. 3 seconds and gone. With Roady, however, this has always been a bit of a problem.

First, there's the jingle of keys. Then, as usual, she'd SLAM her door. Once closed, this begins a series of low-volume thumps as she puts her key in the door (the thumps are generated when you shake the door while it's closed, it has enough wiggle room to make noise). It takes probably 10 seconds of thumping until the keys jingle again to signal that she's off. That and the SLAMMING of the security gate behind her.

But things have changed in this routine and only in the last few days.

Roady used to just go through her noise-fest and leave, but lately she's been OCD about it. She'll lock her door (thump-thump-thump-thump-thump), walk to the security gate (maybe 15 feet from her door), turn back and check again (thump-thump-thump-thump-thump). But it's not over. The process is repeated for a third time (thump-thump-thump).

I remember when we first moved in and Roady said to me, "People don't seem to stay in that apartment very long. I think it's because it's really dark." Well, I can now say, without a doubt, it wasn't because it was dark. It's because they couldn't keep up with your all-star lifestyle.

Figured I would first take a spin through the moments of year. Most of these are very superficial, not at all life-altering, and perhaps stupid in the long run. But hey, they still happened.

1. Got a Tivo
   
2. Saw Queensryche in concert
   
3. Farewell to Rod Naber
   
4. First trip to NYC
   
5. Five years
   
6. Twenty-Seven
   
7. Celebrity sighting of the year

Now, we'll see how we did with last year's "to do."

1. Call People: Many of you can attest to the fact that I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people. I contact people in Chicago like once a month and if you're lucky it's you I'm calling. I owe calls to a lot of people and I'm going to start trying to call someone once a week.
   
   I'm going to have to say I did well on this one, or at least found alternative means of conversing. Some of you, still owe me an e-mail...Gayle Carter...
   
   
2. Exercise: We were playing softball once a week, and even then I was just an alternate so playing time was really limited. I just need to get out two or three times a week and run for 30 minutes. Get the heart rate up, sweat a little, you know...work out.
   
   Well, I joined Rockreation, which has been awesome. I'm still FAR from being a sculpted adonis, but hey, it's a start, right?
   
   
3. Complain less: Another leftover from '04. And a pretty obvious one.
   
   Right...see you in 2007.
   
   
4. Don't walk away from opportunities: I passed up a few chances in early 2004 and I don't quite feel like I've earned the right to take this off the list.
   
   Not sure on this one. Nothing really bit me in the ass or popped up like in 2004. So...I guess that means no?
   
   
5. Write one quality 30 minute script: I'm in a great position to get some things done and I need to get past my procrastination. Put up or shut up.
   
   I have a few concepts in the works, but nothing even close to being finished. But you'll know it when you see them.

Alright, so the new 2006 list will be as follows, let's see...

1. Complain less/Be more positive: Honestly, the chances of this ever happening are slim to none. And while anger/sarcasm/bitterness may be one of the sources of my humor, it's also not good for my health. Which actually, leads me to add the next thing to this list...
   
   
2. Go to the doctor: I haven't had a physical in who knows how long. Chances are, there's nothing wrong with me. But it wouldn't hurt to have a pro check the old hot rod out.
   
   
3. Get a tattoo: First appearing on the 2004 list, then vanishing on the 2005 list, it's back. I'm almost sure I know what I want to get. Now it would just be a matter of getting the aid of a friend, the cash, and the cajones.
   
   
4. Travel: Connie and I still haven't really done much to the north of Los Angeles. This year, at the least, we're going to San Francisco. And maybe Vegas, out of season of course.
   
   
5. Write one quality 30 minute script: We'll bring this one back too, just as a reminder that it's in here and something can be done.

Aaaaaand, we're off...