To the matter at hand, the sucking of Dodger Stadium.
First, allow me to establish my credibility. My name is Dave Sliozis, and I like baseball. While I don’t have the stat-checking love of it that Connie does, I still enjoy keeping and eye on the Cubs and going to baseball games. One summer, I was able to see thirteen games, but that was back when I was nestled in the teat of Wrigley, Comiskey and Miller. I love Ichiro, and I hated Sammy Sosa long before it was popular to hate Sammy Sosa.
I also loathe people. Masses of them, moving every which way, broken into small groups of five of more. I hate crowds, I hate parents who slow walk flanked by an army of children, and I hate people who slow walk flanked by tens of friends. I hate you. And you’re asking what this has to do with anything, but it’ll come back to the conversation. Make note.
Wednesday night, Connie and I drove into the hot dirt to see the Cubs play the Dodgers. Normally, I would never risk heading east after 6pm on a weeknight, but the Cubs are only in town once this season and we had to go. This also wasn’t at all our first time to Dodger Stadium, this was probably our seventh or eighth trip up there, so I knew full well what I was getting myself into.
So let’s roll up our sleeves and listen to what’s wrong with Dodger Stadium.
We’ll begin with this
massive renovation that they did over the off-season. While the linked site lists several new items, only two things were apparent to us. The new seats, and some patio area that was OUTSIDE the park. The new seats are fine, whatever. They have cup holders now and they're made of a softer plastic as opposed to the nasty metal ones before. And that's really all there is to that.
Really, once you're in your seat and facing the field, there aren't too many problems. But what's behind you isn't so fantastic.
The main halls that you walk to get food, etc., look like you're walking through a sewer that's under construction. It's dark, concrete, and uninviting. The LCD TV's outside of the merchandise shop do little or nothing to distract you from that. The field was gorgeous, as always and the advertising around the park is actually barely noticeable.
But that's INSIDE the park.
Parking sucks. Flat out sucks. The parking lot is a complete mess. It's basically giant open spaces with occasional entrances that the parking lot people open or block at their discretion. Last season, we were allowed to park right before the exit that would lead us to the 110, but not this time. We were blocked and forced to get on the useless 5. And those big open spaces cause chaos when game time is over. Picture 5,000 cars all trying to head to one exit without filing into order. It sucks. You've got cars going the wrong way, lose fans wandering between the cars and screwing you from staggering into order, and people who are just dumb trying to squeeze through things.
My immediate solution is simply this. Add those little concrete blocks to every parking space. This would force people to fall in line and ultimately smooth things out.
Then there's the simple task of just getting to your seats. Dodger Stadium is unique in that it's a complete effing mess right outside the stadium and you have to walk up hundreds of stairs to get to where you need to be. Most stadiums let you in the door, then point you to your seat. Not Dodger Stadium. Once you get to your level, that's where you stay. Can't go anywhere else. And even worse is that the stairs and walkways are not wide enough for massive amounts of traffic, so when the game ends, you have thousands of people bottlenecking in walkways and those rare, brilliant people trying to fight their way back up ("...I forgot my novelty bat!").
Oh, and then all those fans spill out into the parking lot where they MUST cross major traffic ways, which again, brings things to a halt.
So, what's my solution to all this? Well, it's impossible, but if money was no option, here's what I would do.
First, location is fine. So there's a start. But the park is a total start over at this point. Bulldoze it, let the old people bitch about it's history, and then let them be called fools when we open the new park and they "ooh" and "aah" all its majesty.
Once you've flattened it, we need to shift the park closer to one of the edges of the hill. And don't even give me any "earthquake" crap. It's not THAT close to the edge. Then we turn the park so that the outfield faces the Los Angeles skyline. That would be gorgeous at night, much better than a dirt hill and a gas station.
Now we build the park. In my mind, it would be similar to Miller park. Access to the entire park is done inside the walls. You can sit behind home plate, or go for a walk completely around the park. I'm considering the possibility of a retractable roof because the Los Angeles sun is brutal in the summer. Make the interiors nicer, red brick, "Dodger Blue" painted steel, and plenty of escalators and LCD TVs to go around. And no gimmicks. No trains, no beer slides. This is Los Angeles, we're already a gimmick.
Finally, parking garages. They can still be pretty big since we've moved the stadium, and we can make then three or four levels high. These would be built behind the home plate side as to avoid interfering with our great view of the city. And exits would be clearly labeled and you'd be able to access whatever freeway you needed upon leaving the garage.
And in the end, I'd probably have a ton of room up there, so I'd plant some grass, throw some tributes to great old Dodger players chiseled in granite, and call it a day. Make a nice park for people to tailgate in.
And that's how I'd save Dodger Stadium.
